So, this is where I say something, I guess.
I’m a man living in Canada, but you can call me Zah. My life has been a mix of highs and lows. I’ve worked in all kinds of fields—customer service, sales, restaurants, and even a tire factory. Each job and each experience has shaped me in ways I’m still figuring out.
I navigate the world with a unique set of challenges: Complex PTSD, Persistent Depressive Disorder, and intermittent Major Depressive episodes. My mind processes life through the lens of learning disabilities and chronic back pain from degenerative disc disease. And recently, I discovered something else about myself—I have Aphantasia.
If you ask me to picture an apple, my mind doesn’t show me an image. No red, no green, no shiny surface. Just… nothing. It’s like my brain is a computer, fully functional, but the screen is off. I don’t visualize. Instead, my thoughts form a massive, interconnected web of ideas. It’s like a decision tree. This tree lets me see patterns and connections others might miss. This has been both my greatest weakness and my greatest strength.
My neurodiversity shapes how I experience the world. I catch details no one notices—like that half-second, a mic sneaks into the frame of a TV show. To me, that mic might as well have been on center stage, glaringly obvious. At the same time, I pick up on emotions in a room before I even understand what I’m sensing. I feel the tension, the sadness, the frustration—but I don’t always know why. My first instinct? “What did I do?” or “Did I say something wrong?” I know this reaction is tied to my CPTSD, but knowing doesn’t make it disappear.
So, I keep moving forward—living, breathing, and walking. I just keep my head up. I aim for a future that I hope the future me will be proud of. He will look back on all the effort I put into helping him thrive. And if I just keep going, step by step, I know I’ll make it.
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