A Rainy Day.

Hello, World.

So, let’s just jump straight into this.

Today is a rainy, cold, damp day. As a result, my back pain is at a solid 8/10 on my pain scale. My life is good. I have food in my belly. An excellent partner is by my side. I have a safe place to rest, and my pets are curled up next to me.

But I am still sad.

A sadness with no meaning. No reason. Just a feeling that carries the weight of the world. To feel this kind of sadness is hard on anyone. It feels like you’re at the bottom of a well. You look up at a tiny pinprick of light and hope. It’s exhausting. It’s daunting.

And then there’s the pain.

Where do you go when you’re already at the bottom of the well? Where’s the stable rock bottom that everyone else seems to have—the one they can push off from to climb out? For me, it feels like trying to climb a steep mountain of sharp, loose gravel. With every step I take, I slide back down. And even when I make it to the top, I still have to find a way out of the well. It never ends.

But I still have hope.

I keep stomping my feet into that slippery, sharp, steep mountain of pain, and I take another step. I breathe in hope and let out the pain. I keep my thoughts on moving up that mountain—on soaring out of that deep well.

And I keep going.